Goldwyn's Birth Story

Wow. I am excited to finally get into words the day of May 12th, 2026 and meeting our third baby.

As a doula, I know that third babies are "wild cards." Nurse Ashley at the Coit House has said they either "hide or slide." I'm not sure if Goldwyn fits into either of these categories because she kind of did both... but it was my fault. I'll explain why.

Our first baby was induced at Mercy Hospital on 42+4 and was born the next morning, 42 weeks +5 days, 8lbs 11oz, 20.5". Our second baby was a spontaneous, precipitous 3.5 hour labor at 41 weeks +6 days, born at home (on purpose!) 9lbs 2oz, 21.5". Knowing how "late" and overdue our babies come, I figured I could be pregnant until 42 weeks, but probably at least 41 weeks. Based on my LMP, my due date was 5/5 but the dating ultrasound put my due date as 5/9, so I figured it was highly probably that I would be pregnant until at least 5/12- 5/16 (41 weeks). I was hopeful for baby to be born on my grandpa's birthday 5/15.

We had another planned homebirth with Caraballo Midwifery. The prenatal appointments, time, individualized care with a midwife for low risk pregnancies is so special and I'm so glad to have had it again. My bloodwork all came back good, no gestational diabetes (actually my lowest results!), GBS negative, everything looked good again just like last time. Because of Wilcox's precipitous labor, I asked our midwife Natalia to show me neonatal resusitation months before the birth just in case baby came fast again and we needed it.

At 37 weeks Monroe and I went to Florida for the weekend of my birthday. Risky business I know...I had just started to have braxton hicks contractions that week, which I had never had in either of my first two pregnancies. But with my history of post date pregnancies, I felt comfortable getting on a plane and surprising my oldest friend with a baby bump! We walked ALL weekend and I stayed super active from this point until baby decided to make her arrival! Probably the most active of all my pregnancies.

I worked my last shift bartending May 2nd, and did braids & tinsel Monday May 4th at the Witching Hour Market. At my 40 week appointment thursday May 7th, I had a few "lightening crotch" moments and Natalia asked me if I was in labor. I said no, it wasn't like that. When I got home I had a LOT of cervical mucous. I've always had cervical mucous during pregnancy, but this third time I had a ton of it throughout my whole pregnancy, starting early on in the 1st trimester.

Some things I really hoped for this pregnancy/birth were:

-No cervical checks at all

-No membrane sweeps or trying to start labor

-My water to break right at the end like the other 2 times

-No prodromal labor for days/weeks

-To call the birth team in time for them to make it to see baby be born

-Spontaneous labor again (trusting that I will go into labor when my body & baby are ready)

-Confidence & peace in our planned homebirth because we did it before & now we can do it again safely with our previous experience to keep us calm if it's fast again

Well, you can "plan" all day for birth, but that's why I call them preferences.

Friday night May 8th I text my doula Ali at 8:30pm saying "No baby! But idk... I had what felt like one big contraction 8:08-8:18 and I freaked out and now I'm putting twinkle lights throughout the house and trying to prepare Monroe for the sights and sounds and blood and not tobe scared or worried." Rory asked if he needed to call Natalia and I said "No.. I just need to go to bed and get horizontal to slow this down. I can't have a baby tonight... I still have too much to do. I need to be pregnant for another week." I had been sitting at the dining room table when that big contraction happened... all in my lower back and wrapping around to the front. Monroe wouldn't go to sleep because she thought the baby was coming, and she kept making me promise I would wake her up.

My irrational list of things to do:

As of Monday the 11th, I still had to take senior graduation photos at 8pm, pickup a hose to fill the birth pool, get garden dirt for the backyard, have the kids paint my belly like Momo did when I was pregnant with Wil, and finish cleaning at my rental for people checking in on friday the 15th.

On Saturday May 9th, we celebrated Mother's Day with my mom, got lunch, picked up paint to complete the irrational nesting projects I had this pregnancy and then that night Rory and I painted the bathroom during the Sabres game, and touched up the living room wall paint I didn't want to be staring at for the next 3 months while I sat on the couch breastfeeding. I had already hung up shelves above both the upstairs and downstairs toliets and decorated the bathrooms with new towels, soap dispensers and decor. Ya know, things that "need" to happen before you have a baby LOL.

Sunday, Rory took the kids to see his mom for Mother's Day and I stayed home to use my new parafin hand wax on my hands and feet, I finished editing photos from the previous weekend at the cherry blossoms, watched Hulu murder docs, and then hung towel holders in the bathroom when Rory got home. We went to Duende (super cool spot) for food and a NA Guiness (yum SO good) and kicked around a soccer ball with the kids while we were there, joking about it putting me into labor. I felt good and hoped to be pregnant for another week... I wanted the compliments about how good I looked to keep rolling in LOL. This was the first time I really loved how my belly looked and I actually liked the feeling of baby moving!

Monday May 11th the baby didn't move much all day, which was pretty common for their typical movement pattern, and like clockwork they were super active at dinnertime the whole drive up to take photos. After my photos up in Lewiston, I got back to our BIL/SIL's house where they were watching the kiddos for me at 8:30pm. I "peed my pants alittle" getting out of the car. Now I know why women question whether or not their water breaks because this time it genuinely felt like I peed my pants but it's never felt that way before. I had to pee 2 more times before leaving their house at 9pm and I questioned in the notes app on my phone "feels like a small leak? or I'm geuinely peeing myself." Rory got home from umpiring baseball at 9:30pm and I had had 3 contractions before this. Then I started writing them down in my notes app like I did with Wil. After about an hour I went upstairs to "get horizontal, slow down contractions, and get some rest." Rory asked Why not tonight? and I said "because I have too much to do tomorrow on your day off, I can't have a baby tonight!" Mind you, these contractions were painful, all in my lower back wrapping around to the front, and I had to squeeze my comb and breathe to get through them, but I didn't bother anybody because I wasn't having a baby tonight HA.

7:04am text to doula: I had contractions all night long. I laid down and went to bed and tried to slow them down because I'm not ready and it worked lol. Cervical mucous is definitely darker this morning. Maybe tonight I'll be ready lol.

Ali text back: you just said not today uterus!!

7:09am text to my friend Brighid: Ctx all night long. Like painful ones. Woke me up throughout the night and had to squeeze a comb. Made me question if I can do this lol.

Brighid text back the sweetest affirmations:

-Yes you can

-You know the pain goes away instantly once you have your baby

-It's only temporary and all you have to do is breathe

-Controlling your breathing is key

-You will meet your baby so soon

-Let the day take you. You don't own the day. Just relax into today.

-No expectations. Let a peace come over you.

-Rest and relax, the work is coming.

-Not to do all the things.... the baby is the thing lol (I wish I listened to this)

I wished her good luck on her finals and said "Thanks.... I'd rather have a baby" LOL!

I text the midwife at 7:54am saying "could be today or tonight... had painful wake me up contractions throughout the night and mucous this morning is brown instead of clear/ yellow like it was. These contractions wrap around from my lower back to front. Not comfy lol. I hope they don't pickup until like dinner time lol. Rory is off today and I have stuff to do lol" She called me and we talked about not waiting too long to call and that she will come whenever!

At 9:54am we picked up a hose to fill the birth pool at Home Depot. We went to get breakfast at the Poked Yolk, then finished cleaning at my airbnb and weedwacked the backyard at 11:30am! We were back home by 1pm and my mom was en route to drop off garden soil for my backyard.

Rory washed the dogs and used all my clean birth towels so I threw them all in the washer because I knew we were going to need them sometime today/tonight. My mom stopped over to drop off garden soil and I ran upstairs to hide being in labor from her. Rory changed the oil in the lawn mower and took the bags of dirt out of her car and she left between 2:30-3pm.

1:52pm text to Ali: These lower back ctx are no f*cking joke. Why do I have them every single time? Lol every single ctx since last night has been intense take my breath away back labor... not like dull achy crampy feeling like you would think early labor would feel like. First time I've used a comb though and it's helping

Ali: Girl! how far apart are they? I'm glad the comb is working!

Me: 10 mins apart but some are short. They're more intense if I'm standing. No pressure. I just gotta take pics of the kids painting my belly and then I'm good to go LOL

Ali: You have quite the to do list for a woman in labor lmao

Me: Once they're every 5 mins I'll let you and the photographer know lol

2:42pm I text Alana the photographer that I had been having contractions all day, but no more than 10 minutes apart, so I just wanted to give her the heads up that I though it would be later tonight. She asked for an hour heads up if possible and I said sounds good!

3:08pm text from Ali: I'm picturing you outside spreading dirt in your garden as you pause for each contraction

3:18pm: Monroe was so proud of her apple she painted.

I went upstairs to wash off the paint and "slow down these contractions." Instead of slowing down, I had three pretty intense, long and strong contractions. The comb did nothing. Things were getting intense after the shower. I went into this not wanting any cervical checks, but because I was so worried about bothering people and making them get there too soon, I called down to Rory to text Natalia and ask her to come because I was thinking if she checked my cervix then I would know if I should tell the doula and photographer it was time to come. *THE START OF ACTIVE LABOR*

3:47pm text to the midwife: Hey it's Rory. Sarah said to come to at least get checked. She just took a shower and they are a little more regular.

3:48pm talked to Natalia on the phone for 1 minute. She was picking her kiddo up at school and then she would be over. I figured that would be within the hour. I had a slight "Idk if I can wait that long" feeling, so I text the photographer to come at 3:49pm. We went back and forth for a couple texts if she should come now or be to the house at 5...at 3:55 she said she was hopping in the car and that her ETA was 4:27pm.

At 3:50pm I text my doula Ali that I asked the midwife to come and at least check me to see when I should tell everyone else to come. I told her the ctx were just so painful and the shower made them closer together but now that I'm out of the shower I had a break. She said I was probably dilating super fast. At 3:55pm I said "I think you should come" and at 4:10 she said "27 mins away!" It's weird that everyone said 27 because Monroe's birthday is 4/27!

4:01pm text to Brighid: I think I'm in active labor I told everyone to come lol

She asked me who everyone was and if I wanted her rto come. I felt bad saying yes so I said "Only if you want to."

After that message, I couldn't text anymore like I could during Wil's birth.

I was sitting on the birth ball at the dining room table and the vertical position was making the contractions so intense. Rory had to keep walking away to help with the kids. He was making them fish sticks and I found out after the fact that he burned his hand in the middle of all of this. I would say "Rory!" and he would come over and do counterpressure on my lower back. If he didnt walk fast enough I would cry out "I neeeeed youuuu!!" All of a sudden I got SUPER hot. I was NOT coping well. I was sitting on the birth ball with my head into the dining room chair cushion, cursing the comb that wasn't working anymore. Unbeknownst to me, Rory grabbed a cold wash cloth and put it on my neck. What a good dude-la. It felt SO good and cooled me right down. The hot flash lasted like 2 contractions. The birth pool was not blown up. He said he was just going to fill our tub.

This ball was NOT helping at all. I moved to the couch to get horizontal, because for some reason I just thought laying down would slow labor down. It didn't. It felt like I wasn't getting much of a break inbetween contractions. Rory did counterpressure on my lower back/hip while I laid on the couch for 3-5 contractions. Laying down was not helping. The tub was basically full so he said Why don't you get in the tub?

I had to make a run for the bathroom because there wasn't much time in between contractions. I just had to go pee before I got in the tub. I sat down to pee and there was a knock on the door. The photographer made it! Rory went to go let her in as I had another contraction and I told him I needed the puke bucket from upstairs. He went to get it and I just remember saying "Rory! I neeeeed youuuuu" and Alana saying "I think he went upstairs, do you want me to get him?" and I couldn't talk. I somehow got through that contraction alone and when he came downstairs for the next one, that nauseous feeling was gone but I said "I feel like pushing" and Rory told me to get in the tub. I had the slightest pressure feeling in my bum during that contraction.

For the first time in my life, I listened LOL. I got in the tub and was facing the wall. I told Alana I was going to turn around after the next contraction to face her. I felt more pressure in my bum during that contraction and then the pressure went away. I no longer felt pain in my lower back, just pressure. Monroe was standing next to me splashing the tub water. I turned to face her, had another contraction and I said "My body's pushing. the baby's coming." Next contraction I felt a big pop and I said "My water just broke!" and I heard Alana say Oh my god! and the baby's head was out. I don't think I had another contraction, I think the rest of the baby just came out. Rory saw that there was some meconium in the water so he kept telling me to pick the baby up out of the water. I went to pick the baby up, and noticed the cord around their neck. I could feel there wasn't much cord, so I lowered baby to unloop the cord and just held them there to let fluid come out of their lungs. They instantly cried and we just sat there for a moment to catch our breaths!

I said "Don't tell me what it is!" and Rory opened the envelope with the footprint that we had stamped with either pink or blue. Unfortunately, our pup Teddy passed a month prior, so I wanted his paw to tell me if it was a boy or a girl. The paw print was pink and Rory said "you're having a baby.... GIRL!" Wow, what a surprise!

Ali walked in and then our midwife walked in 3 minutes later. My friend Brighid came in a few minutes after that, and then the nurse Luann. Another accidental freebirth. Oops. It took a little longer for the placenta to come this time because I didn't want to push, and instead of squatting I was leaning back. But after 20 minutes, I pushed it out. Eventually, Rory took the baby who was still attached to her placenta in a bowl and they helped me out of the tub. They helped me to the couch and Alana took photos of her attached to her placenta and Natalia then assessed my bleeding with baby back on my chest. She said it looked good and I didn't need any stitches.

After latching and some skin to skin, Natalia and Luann did baby's measurements and Rory ironed on the Sister/Brother shirt I had made for after we found out if it was a girl or a boy!

Goldwyn Dottie Parker, 8lbs 3oz, 19.5" long... our smallest babe, shortest gestation, shortest active labor (was it an hour from shower to babe?!), most intense birth but we did it. We... Goldwyn & I... the one true time you and your babe will work together

Wow. What a whirlwind of a day. I genuinely feel like superwoman unlooping that cord and delivering my own baby. BIRTHING my own baby. I actually caught the baby this time! I unlooped the cord and had an out of body experience while it happened. I wondered if this baby would have a nucal cord because it's normal for 1/3 babies to have one! And I unlooped it! Thankfully, I've seen it so many times that it is normal and I wasn't scared when I saw it and I knew what to do. I'm extra thankful that I was at home and not at the hospital. Had I been at the hospital with a baby covered in meconium (because they don't let you push the baby out in the water) they would've done immediate cord clamping and taken the baby straight to the warmer just as a precaution. But look at the beautiful moment we got to have together instead!

My tips for pregnant mamas:

-HIRE THE BIRTH PHOTOGRAPHER hehe

-Find a supportive provider/doula/partner

-Prenatal education about birth!

-Trust your intuition & know the difference between medically necessary & elective

-Get excited... birth is hard but is beautiful and wonderful and you'll be a different person on the other side of it.

-Stop thinking you can slow down labor... get everything checked off your list so you can mentally relax and prepare for labor. If you still have to buy a hose, paint your belly, spread dirt.... you won't meet your baby until you don't have anything else on your to do list ;) I would've had a baby the night before if I didn't have so much to do the next day LOL

Enjoy some of my favorite photos from "Goldwyn's Birth Story:"

Facebook Page - Alana Adetola Arts Photography, LLC

Instagram Page - @alanadetolarts___photography 

Web Page - www.alanadetolartsphotography.com

https://video.wixstatic.com/video/639665_00347358dca24f65b93a3bc3c6d7b978/1080p/mp4/file.mp4